Oh, the time has come that the holidays are upon us once again. For folks like me who have anxiety and/or trauma, this is a tough time of year. Below are some things you can do for yourself to keep your sanity.

1. Learn to say NO! Yes, we all want to please everyone and make everyone happy. Ask yourself, who's making you happy right now? Do not feel obligated to do everything. For example, I don't feel like doing Christmas Cards this year. I'm not in the mood and I don't want to. So guess what? I'm not. I was also invited to a holiday party. There would be many of my friends there too. But I said no. Why? Couple of reasons: 1) I'm not big into parties and lots of people and 2) I don't want to. I would rather be home in my pajamas where it's quiet.
2. Do what you feel like doing. So often during the holiday, the pressure is on women (yes women) to make the cookies, cook the dinner, and get the house ready.  If you want to do all these things great! But let people help you. If you don't feel like it, don't. Realize this, the world is not going to come to an end if you don't get the cookies done or at all. My friend Wendi owns a bakery and she's a damn good baker. I get my cookies from her and guess what? She does not make any at home! Her logic is simple: if folks want cookies, they can buy them from me but I'm not going to make any at home after making them all day. I get that.
3. Self Care. I know a few of you will throw your nose up at that but right now, you have to think about this. You're working, coming home, making dinner, taking care of the kids, shopping for presents, decorating, making the cookies and the cakes. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?? You do not need to spend a dime on self-care. Make sure you're going to bed at the same time every night, take a long relaxing bath, read a book, watch something funny on TV, have a cup of tea, and listen to the quiet. go for a walk. If you do have money, go get a massage, take a yoga class, or sit in a sauna.
4. Last, be gentle with yourself. As I get older I realized a few things; first, it doesn't matter what or how your neighbor decorates their house. It's none of your business. It doesn't matter if dinner isn't done at 5pm. It doesn't matter if the cookies get done in time. It doesn't matter if you forgot to gift someone. It doesn't matter if things are not perfect. I used to want things to be perfect; kind of like the Susie Homemaker perfection or the June Cleaver perfection. I always made dozens and dozens of cookies, baked bread, threw the perfect parties, the perfect gifts, and make the perfect foods. But guess what? IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! When you're on your deathbed, no one is gonna say, "She made the perfect cookies or the perfect bread." No one is gonna say that! So let that perfection stuff go.

Go be you. Be the best you. But most important, do what you want to do; not what is "expected" of you.