Category: Misc.

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Anxiety Mental Health & Wellness Misc.

Menopause is shitty

Yup! I said it. Menopause is shitty. What makes me laugh is for centuries men have said women are the weaker sex. After giving birth, working along side men and doing the same job they did (in the military with weapons), and now this, I can honestly say we are not the weaker sex.

Let’s get down to business. Menopause isn’t just you stop your period and get hot flashes. No, it’s more than that. So MUCH MORE! Recently I came across a book The New Menopause by Dr Mary Claire Haver. When I read this my mind was blown! I wondered why I couldn’t take pills like I used to because one of the changes in the body with menopause is the throat getting smaller. Burning tongue? Same thing. Vertigo? Same thing. All due to menopause. So I reached out to a doctor I know in my area who has really made it her life’s work to understand and treat menopause, Dr Theresa Burick. She came to the studio and talked to 10 of us women who were all postmenopausal. Along with what Dr Haver says in the book, Dr Burick told us what blood work to get, what supplements we should be taking, and what exercises are the best.

Now more than ever, doctors (not all sadly), are taking menopause a bit more seriously than before. Let me say Dr Burick really gave us some insight into what is learned in medical school regarding menopause. She told us that medical school designates 30 minutes of learning about menopause. THIRTY MINUTES!!! Something that changes a women’s life drastically all for thirty freaking minutes?? Seriously? And they wonder why our healthcare is poor. Doctors in the UK and the EU take menopause seriously and guess what? They listen to the woman too. So often women get dismissed when they talk about these things. I have a friend who is post-menopausal and wanted to get on hormone replacement therapy. The first GYN she saw told her she was too old for HRT. The second GYN, after bloodwork, said she was fine. It took her fighting for someone to listen to her for her to get on HRT. She says she feels better than ever.

Menopause affects more than you realize ladies. It’s time to educate yourself. Read the book, ask the questions, and get the bloodwork. It’s not in your head and you’re not crazy. Yes, anxiety is part of menopause; so is depression too. It’s not just hot flashes and night sweats.

One more thing: I’ve bought at least 6 copies of this book and I always hand them out to ladies going through menopause. Best book for your health.

Categories
Anxiety Misc. Stress Trauma

Dealing with the Holiday’s

Oh, the time has come that the holidays are upon us once again. For folks like me who have anxiety and/or trauma, this is a tough time of year. Below are some things you can do for yourself to keep your sanity.

  1. Learn to say NO! Yes, we all want to please everyone and make everyone happy. Ask yourself, who’s making you happy right now? Do not feel obligated to do everything. For example, I don’t feel like doing Christmas Cards this year. I’m not in the mood and I don’t want to. So guess what? I’m not. I was also invited to a holiday party. There would be many of my friends there too. But I said no. Why? Couple of reasons: 1) I’m not big into parties and lots of people and 2) I don’t want to. I would rather be home in my pajamas where it’s quiet.
  2. Do what you feel like doing. So often during the holiday, the pressure is on women (yes women) to make the cookies, cook the dinner, and get the house ready.  If you want to do all these things great! But let people help you. If you don’t feel like it, don’t. Realize this, the world is not going to come to an end if you don’t get the cookies done or at all. My friend Wendi owns a bakery and she’s a damn good baker. I get my cookies from her and guess what? She does not make any at home! Her logic is simple: if folks want cookies, they can buy them from me but I’m not going to make any at home after making them all day. I get that.
  3. Self Care. I know a few of you will throw your nose up at that but right now, you have to think about this. You’re working, coming home, making dinner, taking care of the kids, shopping for presents, decorating, making the cookies and the cakes. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU?? You do not need to spend a dime on self-care. Make sure you’re going to bed at the same time every night, take a long relaxing bath, read a book, watch something funny on TV, have a cup of tea, and listen to the quiet. go for a walk. If you do have money, go get a massage, take a yoga class, or sit in a sauna.
  4. Last, be gentle with yourself. As I get older I realized a few things; first, it doesn’t matter what or how your neighbor decorates their house. It’s none of your business. It doesn’t matter if dinner isn’t done at 5pm. It doesn’t matter if the cookies get done in time. It doesn’t matter if you forgot to gift someone. It doesn’t matter if things are not perfect. I used to want things to be perfect; kind of like the Susie Homemaker perfection or the June Cleaver perfection. I always made dozens and dozens of cookies, baked bread, threw the perfect parties, the perfect gifts, and make the perfect foods. But guess what? IT DOESN’T MATTER!!! When you’re on your deathbed, no one is gonna say, “She made the perfect cookies or the perfect bread.” No one is gonna say that! So let that perfection stuff go.

Go be you. Be the best you. But most important, do what you want to do; not what is “expected” of you.

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Misc.

BMI is BULLSHIT!

Recently I did a BMI check and it showed I was mildly OBESE??? Now before I totally lose my shit, let’s go back to what BMI is. According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), BMI was created, “In 1972, physiologist Ancel Keys (1904-2004) built upon the work of Adolphe Quetelet’s Quetelet Index. He officially coined the modern term “body mass index” and provided evidence to support its current usage with his 1972 study [3], in which he analyzed 12 samples of 7,426 “healthy” men” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10693914/#:~:text=In%201972%2C%20physiologist%20Ancel%20Keys,of%207%2C426%20%22healthy%22%20men.). MEN! Not women.

Now in 2024, the medical community is realizing BMI really isn’t a good judge on how healthy a man or woman is. In a recent posting by the Harvard School of Public Health, they stated, “BMI is a poor metric on people’s health. It’s not just Harvard saying this. Many different peer-reviewed medical journals are saying this. The funny thing is, the medical community still uses it! Why? The simple reason is because the news doesn’t trickle down to doctors in the field unless they’re looking for it. So I printed them out the last time I went to the doctor. Now I love my functional medicine doctor. He’s really been great. But he is a busy guy and doesn’t keep up with the latest things (and he admits it too). So I showed him all the new research and he was shocked! He told me they still teach BMI in medical school even though they are changing how the game is played.

How can you get past all this with your doctor? Simple. Print out the research which you can find pretty easily on Google. Yale, Harvard, NIH, etc. all have their research posted that you can print out. Even when I knew (I KNEW) I had Lipedema, I had to go in armed and prepared. That’s when the doctor sits up and listens. They don’t like being schooled but occasionally that needs to happen.

Categories
Anxiety Mental Health & Wellness Misc. Trauma

Creating a Toolbox

Since I’ve had anxiety and trauma for pretty much the majority of my adult life, I created a toolbox for myself. Let me explain. When I first got diagnosed my doctor immediately put me on anti depressants and Ativan. I was on these for well over 20+ years. One day I decided I didn’t want to take it anymore. So me being me (a total geek and dweeb) I found a book to ween myself off. Let me just tell you how hard that was. There were times I felt like I was withdrawing from opiods. It was tough. Then I found Tom.

For those of you who don’t know Tom, he’s my co-author. He’s also an amazing psychologist. He immediately started me on Neurofeedback. What is Neurofeedback?

“Neurofeedback, also known as EEG (electroencephalogram) biofeedback, is a therapeutic intervention that provides immediate feedback from a computer-based program that assesses a client’s brainwave activity. The program then uses sound or visual signals to reorganize or retrain these brain signals” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/neurofeedback).

This is where I started creating my toolbox. After all the drugs were out of my body, I started to line up some things which would work for me. I used my yoga background and found the following:

1) Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/Tapping) – Holy cow what an amazing thing to learn. I use this every day, twice a day. It keeps me sane. It’s great for anxiety that’s for sure. Here’s the best part, you can learn it for free on their website! Or I can teach you.

2) Breathing – Yep! Something as simple as breathing can help with anxiety too. My favorite is called three part breathing.

3) Meditation – I can’t live without it. There are many who say “Oh I can’t meditate.” Frankly, you just haven’t found the right one to use. Did you know there are 28 different types of meditations? Also using Insight Timer or the Calm app are great. It’s good to note here Calm always puts their app on sale after Black Friday for 1/2 price. So wait and take advantage of it.

Realize this, medication is a great thing. Modern medicine has done wonders for mental health. I personally just didn’t want to be on it anymore. So I don’t knock modern medicine; believe me.

This is why I created the Mental Health Toolbox. We all need a toolbox right? So what is the Mental Health Toolbox?

The Mental Health Toolbox is a 6-week workshop which meets once a week for about 1.5 – 2 hours. In it, we look at:

Anatomy of Mental Health – The definitions, differences, and understanding of anxiety, depression, PTSD, and stress·
How it Affects the Body – Mental Health does affects the body and it can have long term affects. We delve into the anatomy of where and how it affects the body and how it can be reversed.
Differences between Teen Anxiety/Depression and Adult Anxiety/Depression – Looking at how they’re different from different ages ranges. Depression in Teens and Adults
The Brain & Body – Understanding how the brain works with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and stress how it affects the body, and the long term affects in can have.
Triggers – What triggers anxiety, depression, PTSD, and stress
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/Tapping) – EFT is using acupuncture points with your fingers to help relax the central nervous system.
Meditation – by using a mantra-based meditation helps the mind from racing, keeps you present, and calms the central nervous system,
Pranayama (breath) – There are two different breathing techniques learned to help simply relax the sympathetic nervous system
Chakra’s – how they’re affected in anxiety and the body,
Affirmations – Affirmations are a great way to change how you feel about yourself and your life,
Body Positivity and how you view your own body,
Self-Compassion, how to have it and how to keep it.

So my dear friends, this is why keeps me sane. Try it creating a toolbox for yourself. If you want some help, I’ll help you. I’d be happy to.

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Misc.

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